Hello Reader!

I would like to use the first blog to introduce myself and my goals for this blog. I am a mom of four wonderful kids. Ages 13, 12, 8, & 5 years old. And a wife to my best friend and my soulmate. This is a blog of life , love, and learning. From my failures to my success this blog will touch on a little bit of everything. 

I started my mom journey as a single mom and very young. Pregnant at 19 to my first love (or what I thought was love). He passed away while I was almost about 12 weeks pregnant. I was young, pregnant, and alone. I had to give up the place I shared with my sons father and move in with my parents. The only choice I had because I couldn't make enough money at the time to live alone, but ultimately living with them was toxic (I will elaborate later on in my blog). My oldest was born in 2007 the year I turned 20. I spent many days working non stop as a waitress and not being able to see my son very much. Leaving him with my mom and others who helped me out. The year my son turned four was the year I met my husband. 

I didn't know at the time of meeting my husband who I was, only that I was unhappy and desperate for any attention and any friends. My husband saw me, he was the first person to see the person I was hiding. Fear took over every choice and decision I was making and it was a destructive. About a year later my husband and I got pregnant with our son. Many changes were happening from the dynamic of the small family we had to the mental state of myself. Two years after our son , we became pregnant with our daughter. She filled our house with what felt like completion. In 2019 we gained custody of our oldest daughter through the department of children and families. This was a surprise and in no way planned. Before her we thought our "little" family was complete. We were so wrong. There is nothing I can imagine without our oldest daughter in it. She was the seal of completion for this once 5 person family. 

Through the years of becoming a mom to today have been a rough path. I hope this blog can better explain and help someone along the way. I am a work in progress to be a better mom and a better wife daily. There is not a day that goes by that I do not feel I need to improve somewhere. I spent a large amount of my adult life giving up and settling with my fears and my destruction of those who matter and those who I love. I am not on the path of give up , I am on the path of being the best I can be for my family. Being weak is not an option in life, its the hard work put in that is the only option to happiness and success in life.